Archive | Awareness RSS feed for this section

Do you feel that?

21 Apr

There are currently over seven billion people in the world. Seven billion – that’s an enormous number. It’s hard to grasp a number that big but that’s where we are. Over seven billion of us sharing time and space on one planet. It’s impossible to see all the people, meet them all, get to know them, and learn about them. There are just too many of us and the world is very big. If you started traveling today, and traveled every single day of your life from here forward, you could still never get to every place there is to go.

Our lives encircle a very small percentage of the world population. We have friends, and family, work associates, professional contacts, and the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. And even with our smaller group it’s sometimes hard to realize that we are all connected in some way. The human race is an amazing thing. So many differences, yet so many similarities. We all need food, shelter, air, companionship, and generally we all want love, support, kindness, and caring. There really isn’t that much difference between us despite the geographic boundaries and cultural norms.

I began to realize how much more connected we are than I had thought some time ago when an acquaintance died unexpectedly. I didn’t know him that well, but I found myself grieving and sad. My friends who were close to him were heartbroken, and that made me feel even sadder. I wanted to comfort them, I wanted to comfort his family whom I had never met, and I wanted to help them all. I really didn’t know these people, and I wondered at my concern for them. Why do we have this empathy, this ability to share one another’s feelings? As I thought about it, I remembered other times in my life when people had been sad, or happy, joyous or desperate, and I realized that during those times I, too, felt those emotions with them. Why would I feel so much for situations in which I was not involved? Because the people around me, these other human beings, are part of me. In essence, we’re all really part of the same family.

Think about your life. Haven’t there been times when you were going through something difficult, and a stranger said something to cheer you up? Do you remember times when you saw someone else struggling, someone you didn’t know, and felt like you wanted to help? What about all of those examples of families, towns, churches, and cities that have gone through terrible disasters, and people from all over the country came to their aide. It happens all the time. Why do we do this? We don’t know those people? Why do we care?

We care because our connections to one another are far deeper than we realize. There is a constancy between us all, like a silent, ongoing hum that never leaves us, that is always there, that we don’t hear, but continually feel. That’s how we are as people. We are connected. We laugh when others laugh, we cry when others cry, we rejoice when others rejoice, and we grieve when others grieve. It was meant to be this way. It’s the way it has to be. We need each other. We need to know that we matter, and we need to let others know that they matter too.

Today as you go about your details, your busy life, your responsibilities, your errands, your commitments, and everything else you have to do, think about your connection to those around you. Listen for that familiar hum – that silent link that never leaves you. Listen. You’ll hear it, not with your ears, but with your heart. And if you see someone laughing, join them. If you see someone crying, comfort them. Everyone around you is your brother and sister. Keep your family strong. They need you and you need them. Today make it a point to remember that.

Tags: , ,

Oh please, allow me.

9 Apr

One day while in the parking lot of my local grocery store, I saw a woman in a wheelchair trying to reach the open top window door of her van to close it. She stretched and stretched and could not get it. I went right over and said, “Oh please, allow me,” reached up and closed it for her. She was so appreciative, and thankful, and said I was an angel to help her out. An angel? All I did was close a door. But from her perspective, she was facing something she needed to do, and wasn’t able to accomplish it. Just helping her get it done meant a lot to her. There were several other people in the parking lot that walked right by her, and I wondered why nobody thought to help her. But you know how it is, it’s easy to zone out and get stuck in our own worlds. It’s easy to walk by, and fail to notice someone in need.

I thought about that and determined that I would try to be more observant and see where I could help more often. The next day I made a point everywhere I went to look around and see what I could do to be a positive influence to others in some small way. I helped a lady get one of those annoying plastic bags off the roll at the store, I talked to the cashier before I left and asked how he was doing, I ran ahead and held a door for an elderly lady, and I made a crying child in a shopping cart laugh. These are very insignificant acts of kindness for sure, but each time I got an appreciative smile or thank you, and it was great. I had an amazing day just trying to be helpful. It was amazing. It felt so good!

Did I make a big impact on anyone’s life – no, but it made a huge impact on me. Since that time, I have sincerely tried to pay more attention to those around me and have found that every single day, there are countless opportunities to help out in some small way. Just smiling and saying hello when you pass someone on the street can be a boost for them. Striking up a conversation with a sales clerk who looks stressed can lift their spirits. Being the one to say, “excuse me” when someone bumps into you instead of waiting for them to say so can bring a smile. Waving someone into the parking space you were waiting for, letting someone go in front of you in line because they have less than you, asking a co-worker if they would like a soda when you’re going to get one for yourself, picking up the pen someone dropped before they stoop, sharing your bag of chips, offering to carry something for someone – all small, seemingly insignificant acts of kindness. But it’s amazing what happens when you do them. The people you help out appreciate it, and your heart will be lighter, your spirits will be higher, and you’ll be happier. It doesn’t seem like such a small change could impact us so much, but it does.

Today, try this for yourself. Look around. Be aware. Pay attention. See what you can do. Offer your hand, help out, smile, be gracious when you don’t have to be, and do just a little more. See what happens. In this day and age, we’re all so busy and consumed with what needs to be done next. It’s easy to keep our eyes down, look away, concentrate on our cell phones, and continue on. But look up – look around. Do something to show you care. The investment from you will be small but the returns are large. “Oh please, allow me.” It’s a great attitude.

Tags: ,

Are you for real?

6 Apr

One day I went out to sit on my patio and enjoy the afternoon air. I looked across the yard and saw the most amazing tiny birds flying in and out of my honeysuckle. We have a lot of hummingbirds where I live, but these didn’t look like those. I had no idea what they were. They were beautiful – all black and white, and there were dozens of them. I watched in amazement for a little while, and then decided to go inside and get my binoculars so I could see them up close without disturbing them. I got the binoculars and sat back down, ready to look at the incredible tiny birds in my garden, and you can imagine my surprise when upon seeing them up close I realized they weren’t tiny birds at all. They were moths. Moths. Big, black and white moths. Suddenly I was no longer impressed and they were no longer amazing, because in my mind, they had morphed from something unique to something common. I mean, really, who is impressed by moths? Did it change they way they looked – no. Did it change the way they flew around – no. The only thing that changed was me. In our lives we can sometimes mistake “moths” for something beautiful and rare. Sometimes we make those mistakes with the people we interact with. We meet someone new, and for some reason they captivate us, draw us in, and we think they’re amazing. But sometimes that initial attraction fades as we get to know them and see them for who they really are. It’s impossible to know someone well when they are new to us. When we meet new people, most of us put our best foot forward. We want to make a good impression, especially if the person we are meeting has the ability to positively affect our lives. Maybe it’s a new boss, a new date, a friend’s family member, our new in-laws, a physician or even a new co-worker. We want them to like us so we’re careful, and we try hard to look good. There is nothing wrong with that. But over time it’s impossible to keep trying so hard to be perfect and eventually who we really are – flaws and all – will shine through. We are all moths in our own ways, BUT we are all also beautiful birds in our own ways. When we feel drawn to someone new, we may only be seeing their “bird” side and not the other. Eventually we’ll see them as they really are. Nobody is perfect and it’s important that we live in the real world. So learning who someone really is moves us forward in our relationship with them. It’s important to see them for real. And it’s important for them to see us for real. I really wish I was taller, I wish I was younger, I wish I was better looking, and I wish I was more perfect. But who I am now is enough. I am the best I can be right now. Tomorrow I might do better or I might falter. But day by day, being genuinely who we are, is where we need to be. Be yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself. Nothing is more attractive than that.

Tags: , , , , ,

I was just kidding.

5 Apr

I had a friend some years ago that I enjoyed doing things with.  She was interesting and fun, and we had a lot of laughs. I enjoyed being with her but only until someone else joined us.  Whenever someone else was with us, she would criticize me continually, make fun of me, and generally make me look like a fool.  I would ask her about this afterward and she always said the same thing, “I was just kidding.”  Hmm.

Tonight on the phone I was talking to a friend who was very stressed out about a party she was planning, and made a comment about another friend we have.  I know this person quite well and he is notorious for making bad decisions.  I said something about being careful trusting his decisions because we’ve seen where they can go.  She laughed and said, “Well that’s just because you always think the worst of everyone.”  I told her that wasn’t a very nice thing to say to me and it certainly wasn’t true.  “Oh I was just kidding,” she said.  Hmm again.

There are a lot of people who make cutting remarks, criticize, and say uncomplimentary things, and then excuse their behavior by saying they were just kidding.  It really isn’t funny to do these things, and it’s not an appropriate way to kid around with people we are supposed to care about and like.  I’ve been thinking about this behavior and wondering what fuels it.  Is it because the other person is stressed out, like my friend tonight?  Is it because the other person doesn’t like something about us but isn’t brave enough to say so?  Is it because there is a jealousy issue?  I really don’t know what the reasons are but I have known a few people over the course of my life who have adopted this “just kidding” mantra when they hurt other people’s feelings.

My friend from years ago – I eventually ended my association with her because I didn’t like the way she treated me when others were around.  I got tired of her “kidding.”  So, because she couldn’t stop, she lost a friend to spend time with.  Is it worth the cost of a friendship to say hurtful things in passing, covering it up with that phrase?  Is it worth losing a friend?  I don’t think so.

Life can be complicated and difficult.  It can be stressful and we all make mistakes.  We trust our friends to be there when the going gets rough, and we rely on them to have our backs.  As friends, we should do those things as well.  It seems it would be best not to fall into the “just kidding” trap.  We should be respectful, supportive, and truthful.  Our friends depend on us the same way we depend on them.  We should be the ones that set the standard.  We should be the best friends we can be.  Friendship is a great gift.  It’s not something to be squandered and toyed with.  It’s a gift.  We should treasure it. And that’s no kidding.

Tags: , ,

There is only one reason.

3 Apr

I have an acquaintance who knows all about business. She’s knows how to start one, how to market it, how to sell it, and how to be a success at it. She reads dozens of business magazines and books on success. She knows all the buzzwords, all the famous people, all the best jobs and all the names of the companies that are moving up and making names for themselves. She’s like a business guru. She books herself in small venues to give speeches about business – how to get started, what to do when problems come up, how to be successful, and she’s filled with advice for everyone. But she has never DONE anything in business herself. She talks all the time about the companies she’s going to start, and all the success she’s going to have, the millions of dollars she’s going to make, and how she’s going to change the business world. But she never does anything. All she does is read constantly about these things, talk continually about them, and try her hardest to convince everyone around her that she is a success.

When asked why she hasn’t yet done anything to get her business plans going, she has a lot of excuses – all of which sound pretty good. “The market isn’t right for this model at this time. I am working on getting the start up capital. I am looking for investors,” and my personal favorite, “I’m still fine tuning what I want to deliver.” Okay. Well all these excuses might sound good, but years have gone by, she has no money, she struggles every month to pay her rent, she’s always scrounging around for some place to give a speech about success, and she’s really talking the talk. But that’s all it is – talk. She never steps up and starts.

There are innumerable reasons not to do things. Innumerable! If you aren’t ready or don’t really want to do something, the reasons you can come up with never end. There is an old story of a man who asked his neighbor if he could borrow his axe. The neighbor said no. He didn’t seem to be using the axe so the man asked him why he couldn’t borrow it. The neighbor said, he was sorry but he was making soup. What does soup have to do with me borrowing your axe inquired the man. Well, said the neighbor, if I don’t want to lend you my axe one excuse is as good as another. And it is.

We have a lot of reasons why we aren’t doing something we’ve been thinking we want to do. We can have as many reasons not to do things as we like. We could just say our hair is growing today or we have a bone in our arm. Really, any excuse will do. But if we want to do something there really is only one reason to do it – because we want to. That’s all. It’s simple. We want to do it and so we do it. If we don’t want to do it, we can stall. We can wait as long as we like until we’re ready to face the truth. And the real truth generally is that we’re not doing it because we don’t want to do it enough to take the steps to start.

One reason. That’s all it takes to do anything we want. One reason. Because we want to. Nothing else really matters. Think about it. One reason. And then decide.

Tags: , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →