We interact with all kinds of people throughout our lives. Some of them will become trusted friends and companions, some will only be passing acquaintances and some will be difficult to deal with. Everyone makes their own decisions and lives according to their own ideas. Most people are nice and try to get along with those around them, but some people are cruel and mean, and don’t care who they hurt or damage as they storm through their days. When they come into our arena we may find it difficult to manage what they throw our way and may negatively get caught up in their choices. It’s hard to navigate through volatile behavior and nobody wants to become a target. Trying to find our way through is like trying to walk unscathed through a minefield. We never know what our next step will bring or which way to turn. We don’t have to figure out why someone is mean or cruel but if we want to manage the situation effectively we will need to find a way forward that protects us as much as possible and still allows us to be heard. No matter what others are doing around us we are in control of ourselves. We can remain calm even if everyone else is upset and patiently look for solutions. Our choices are ours to make and if we objectively see each situation we will find the best way forward. We can control our own behavior and make excellent choices even in the midst of conflict. We know what we want to do and by choosing well we will find success.
The fight or flight reflex is hard wired into us. When someone threatens us we may instinctively feel the need to fight back or run for cover. These reflexes protect us and warn us of impending danger, but in most circumstances of conflict our lives aren’t at risk. We don’t have to run from trouble and we never have to fight to make our point. We can manage a difficult situation by using reason and influence. There are always many ways to solve any problem and with patience and careful consideration we will find them.
It takes two to fight and it’s impossible to fight with someone who is agreeable. We can rant and rave to try and make a point but kindness will always end the fight. Although we may not agree with someone who is being contentious and rude, we can politely state our position and allow them to answer us. Being willing to listen instead of forcefully pushing our point often ends disagreements and paves the way to compromise and resolution. We are strong and capable and understand how to get to the goals we desire. There isn’t anything too complicated for us to figure out and with patience and grace we will find the way forward.
Today if someone is pushing you around and treating you badly, before you respond take a moment to decide what you want to accomplish. All the answers you need to move ahead are there for you. You can control your behavior and make your point succinctly and politely, and exhibit kindness even under duress. Make the best choices going forward and listen to your opponent’s point of view. You have all the wisdom and influence you need to win, and with patience and grace you will get there.
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