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Keeping Score

28 Aug

As we go through our lives we have many opportunities to serve others and help out.  Most of us want to help when we can and try to be available to those who need us.  Serving those around us brings great satisfaction and joy, but there may be times when we feel we’re giving too much or others are taking advantage.  If the same people call on us over and over again for things they should be managing themselves we may begin to feel we’re being used.  We can always decline any request but there are sometimes complications in our relationships or associations that make saying no more difficult.  If we feel we’ve been taken advantage of or manipulated because of relationship constraints, we might decide we deserve something in return and begin to keep score tallying up what we’ve given and what we’ve received.  If we find we’ve given much more than has been reciprocated it may affect how we feel about the other party and what we’re willing to do going forward.  It’s important to have balance in our lives and if we’re doing things that bring us discomfort we may certainly stop.  But we are responsible for the decisions we make and if we allow others to abuse our generosity we can stop.  We don’t have to keep track of how much we’ve given, or how many times we’ve agreed to help.  If we feel we’ve given all we can, we can say no when the next request comes.  We never have to do more than we are comfortable with and choosing what is fair and best for us going forward will bring us peace and confidence.  It’s better to manage our decisions with those around us than to give more than we want and lose our connection.  We know what’s best and we know what we can do.  Taking control and choosing wisely will allow us to be helpful without giving too much.

Some people have trouble managing their lives.  They may make decisions that bring complications into their lives and get overwhelmed when things go wrong.  We’re all responsible for the lives we live and can create them any way we choose.  If we are careless and foolish, and make choices that bring us hardship, we are responsible for the situations that arise.  We cannot push the burden of cleaning up a problem we’ve created onto someone else.  Our choices belong to us and the results of those choices are our responsibility.  We can change our lives any time we want.  We don’t need to rely on others continually to show us the way.  We have all the wisdom and intelligence we need to make good decisions and walk the path we desire most.

It’s good to ask for advice when we need it and we may certainly seek out those who may help us when we get stuck.  But if we fall into the habit of constantly asking others to help us solve our problems we may forget we are capable of solving many of them on our own.  We can resolve even complex and difficult issues if we take the time we need to evaluate them and choose our way forward.  It’s fine to seek help when we need it but we can also learn to be self-reliant and trust that we’ll find the answers.  There really isn’t anything too difficult for us to manage.  We have incredible insight and great wisdom from which to draw and all the answers are there for us.

Today if you’ve been asked to help again and feel you may be giving too much, evaluate the situation objectively and make the best choice before you proceed.  You are in control of your life and can manage it any way you choose.  If you’re stuck and feel like you need help to find answers, seek it, but remember you already know what you want to do and have all the courage and wisdom you need to proceed.  You are amazing and wise.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  Be courageous.  You have everything you need to succeed.

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