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Don’t Look

25 Sep

There are sometimes things that come into our lives that are hard to look at. They might be difficult to understand, so unexpected we can’t accept them, or so different from what we want we can’t even look at them. We might choose to look the other way and pretend they don’t exist.  If they pop into our line of vision, we can just avert our gaze. If someone brings them up we can pretend we didn’t hear and change the subject. We can deny they even exist.  But denial is just a way of postponing the inevitable. We will eventually have to face whatever is weighing on us, and denying it now will not prevent us from having to deal with it in the future. Hiding our heads in the sand and refusing to look at the issue will just keep it in stasis. The time in between is time we might use to process the problem, but we have to be careful. Sometimes waiting makes things worse.

How do we face things that seem too difficult for us? How do we look at them when the thought of them makes us shudder? There really isn’t anything we can’t face when we decide to, but sometimes we have to take it slowly, and unravel the problem one bit at a time. If we’ve learned we have a serious health issue, and we’re too afraid to accept it, we could begin by reading some information about it. If we learn about it, and better understand what is happening we may not be so afraid. If someone close to us says they’re leaving us and we don’t think we can face life without them, we could objectively look at our lives and see where we’ve done well in the past. In any difficult situation, we could begin by looking at how we could re-order our lives to accept the new reality we’re facing. We could start by just imagining how we might move forward.

Big changes, big challenges, and sudden complications can knock us down, but that’s only temporary. We’re down because we’re surprised, and we aren’t sure how to navigate. Sitting down and taking a moment can help with that. But we will get up again. We can figure out how to process anything that comes to us. We may need some time, and we might need the help of others, but we will figure it out. Sometimes the most unexpected and seemingly disastrous developments that enter our lives lead us to remarkable changes, and incredible growth. Sometimes they even turn our course to paths we hadn’t previously considered, which bring us increased happiness and peace. Change is not easy. Disappointing and difficult changes are harder. But hiding from them rarely helps. If we face them, we can take it minute by minute, give ourselves time to think and adjust, and get through them. We won’t just survive, we’ll thrive going forward.

Today if you’re trying to adjust to an unexpected and difficult change, and you feel like you’ve had the wind knocked out of you, if you’re stunned and can’t figure out what to do, it’s okay. You’re completely capable of handling this. You don’t need to hide. You don’t have to look the other way. Take small steps. You’ll figure it all out and you’ll go forward. You will find happiness and peace again. It doesn’t matter how many steps you need. Each one will bring you closer to where you want to be.

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