Tag Archives: Speaking Up

Spades

31 Aug

In this day and age we are strongly encouraged to be politically correct and go along, and there seems a constant suggestion of conformity.  Everywhere we turn there is the implication that if we don’t follow the currently approved norm we are out of step.  Along with this there is a seeming lack of appreciation for individuality.  Instead of being leaders, we’re encouraged to be followers. We are told to speak out minds but often only if what’s on our minds is what the group thinks we should be thinking about. When did it become distasteful to have our own opinions? We are certainly entitled to them, but it seems that expressing them, if they are different from the group, is more and more frowned on. It’s a sad situation, and it’s boggling.

There is great value in saying exactly how we feel and speaking plainly. Talking in circles, dodging the issue, and dancing around a problem afraid of being offensive never solves anything. But if our main concern is not offending others, we may find ourselves doing just that. The great people of history, and the great examples of today, are direct and clear in their speech. They know what they believe in and it doesn’t matter if others disagree with them. They say what needs to be said with focus and determination. They don’t care if they’re swimming upstream, and they don’t care if nobody else believes in what they’re doing.  They believe in it and that’s enough. It takes courage to say what we think is right.  We may certainly say whatever we think needs to be said, and we may say it boldly, and with conviction.

Our viewpoints are valid, our opinions are worthwhile, and our comments are meaningful. We don’t have to be followers. We can choose to be leaders and share our ideas, our vision, and our perspective. The greatest innovations of our time were created going against the norm. The greatest ideas were often initially laughed at. But innovation starts with a great idea to do something new. Some people are threatened by what they don’t know and they will always be followers. We don’t have to be followers. We can say what we mean and mean what we say. We don’t have to go along, we can call a spade a spade.  After all, that’s exactly what it is, and facing things as they are is critical when we’re communicating.

Today if you’re being encouraged to follow along and you aren’t comfortable, speak up. You are as important as anyone else, and your ideas are just as valid. Be clear and be courageous. You can be kind and polite, and still hold fast to your opinion. Being who you really are is important.  Be your best self, and always be your true self.

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Stand Up

4 May

One day during an important staff meeting with the senior management team, my supervisor was annoyed at something that had happened, and made a remark giving his opinion that included several extremely vulgar words. I was shocked. I do not use that sort of language, and I found it to be very offensive, especially since I was at work, and required to attend the meeting. To my own, and everyone else’s surprise, I stood up at once and said, “I will not remain here in this meeting if this is the kind of language that will be used. I will not tolerate this level of un-professionalism, and I am completely offended.” I remember I was shaking because I was so upset. There was a stunned silence as everyone realized I had broken the first two cardinal rules of work. #1 – Do not criticize your boss, and #2 – Do not EVER criticize your boss in front of his/her boss. Yep, I had completely ignored those, and had stood right up, and spoken out. After a moment, my supervisor apologized to everyone, and said he was sorry he had used that language. I sat back down, and the meeting continued.

Afterward, back at my desk, I thought about what had happened, and I wondered what repercussions I would be facing for standing up, and making such a scene at the meeting. I was concerned that I may have jeopardized my job. I mean, you don’t correct your boss when his boss is in the room without something happening later, right? I remember sitting there and thinking I was going to face some serious setbacks for my outburst, and I was quite worried. But I had done what I felt was important. I had kept my standards, and stood up for what I thought was correct.

What happened next surprised me. One by one, the others in the meeting came by my desk to thank me for speaking up. They each said they, too, were offended by the comment, but were uncomfortable pointing it out, and they were proud of me for being brave enough to address it. And then my supervisor called me into his office. “Well, here it comes,” I thought. I took a deep breath, and walked over to see him. “Shut the door,” he said as I entered. I sat down, and looked him in the eye prepared to take whatever was coming. He looked at me, and then apologized profusely for his behavior at the meeting. He said I was right to say something, and he was embarrassed by his statements. He asked me to forgive him, and said he would never use that sort of language in the office again. I was stunned – I did not expect that.

We all have our own ideas about what is right and appropriate, and often when someone steps all over them, we don’t say anything. We just stay quiet to avoid an uncomfortable situation. But I learned that day that speaking up was the better choice. Most people don’t want to offend those around them. Sure, there are some that don’t care about anyone but themselves, but most people try to be polite, and not hurt others. So it’s appropriate if we are uncomfortable, that we say something. We have the right to say it’s not okay. We can stand up for what we think is right.

Today, if you find yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, remember, you can say something about it. You can be polite, but you can also be forthright. You can say you are uncomfortable, and you want the situation to change. You have that right. Today, exercise that right. Speak up. Be clear. Say what you are feeling. Do not sit quietly, and take it. If you stand up, you will feel stronger, and more empowered. You will gain the respect of those around you. And those are great attributes to gain. Speak up. Say what you mean. Be strong.

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