Tag Archives: Hope

Take Heart

25 May

It’s a wonderful thing to fall in love with someone. We become aware of another person in ways we may never have dreamed possible. We think about them constantly, wonder what they’re doing when they’re not with us, hope to see them soon, and start to make plans. Our heart jumps when we hear their voice, and when they smile at us, the whole world seems to stop. We are consumed with thoughts of them. We can’t imagine being without them. We adore them, they delight us, and make us so happy. We’ve never been so happy.

But sometimes, something goes wrong. They turn, and decide they want to go another way – without us. They leave, and we are left broken, and bereft. We are devastated, stunned, sad, in disbelief. We feel hopeless. How can we go on? We love them so much. We need them. How is it possible they don’t feel the same about us? It’s horrible. We feel horrible, and for a time we don’t believe we’ll ever be right again.

I have a close friend who went through this some time ago. The woman he loved was everything to him. He talked about her constantly, and told me of his plans for the future with her. He loved her deeply, and couldn’t imagine ever being without her. But she decided she wanted something different, and she left. He was devastated. I sat with him as he cried. He said he didn’t think he could survive without her. He just didn’t see an end to the pain.

When we are in times of great despair it seems as though they are permanent. We think nothing will ever change, and we’ll never be happy again. But the only thing permanent is death. Everything else changes. It’s the nature of life. Even if it feels like the end for us, it’s just a passage. As I sat with my grieving friend, and listened to his sobs, I reminded him of this. Although he felt completely ruined, he was just going through a difficult passage. It wasn’t the end of the road. It was a change. A very painful, gripping, sad change, but still just a change. I told him he would navigate it, and he would survive. At the time he didn’t believe me, but time has gone by, and he has survived, and moved on. He is happy again.

When we are brokenhearted – truly brokenhearted, it can feel like our lives are over. It can be hard to breathe, much less see a future where happiness will ever be a part of our lives again. When we feel so horrible, we may be surprised that life goes on, the sun still comes up, and time still goes by. How can the world continue it’s relentless march when we are frozen in pain? It’s hard to see around the corner. It’s hard to face the days. Everything is hard. But it’s not permanent. The pain will ease. Things will get better. Happiness will return.

Today, if you are brokenhearted try to remember that. This isn’t the end for you. This is just a passage. You will get through it. You will survive, and you will be happy again. Take it moment by moment, and hold on. You will get stronger.  You’re still here. The road is still before you. There is hope, and happiness ahead. Have faith. All is not lost. All is not lost.

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Not Happening

24 May

There are times in everyone’s life when we want something very much. If it’s something we feel would be good for us, something that would make us happy, something that would make our lives better, we hope for it. We yearn for it, think about it, wait for it, and pray for it. But sometimes the thing we really want doesn’t come. No matter what we do, it’s just not in the cards for us. We try changing the plan, and that doesn’t work. We try changing our focus, and that doesn’t work. No matter what we do, we can’t get to where we want to be.

It’s very hard to accept not being able to have something we want very much. If it’s something we believed we would achieve, it’s very hard to let it go. But this life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes the road doesn’t take us where we thought we were headed. Sometimes the destination isn’t what we planned on.

How can we accept no for an answer? How can we let go of something we want so badly? How do we handle the disappointment? If we’ve done all we could do, and still the plan didn’t work, what do we do now? How do we go forward?

If you hold a baseball in your hand, all five fingers encircling it, you have it securely. You won’t drop it. If you lift one finger, you can still hold it. The same is true if you lift two fingers, even three – you can still hold onto the ball with the remaining two. But once you lift the fourth finger, the ball will teeter and fall. Having a dream we really want is like holding onto the baseball. When we’re trying to adjust to a big change, a big disappointment, it’s like letting the ball fall. It’s not easy to just let the hope go, we’ve held it for too long. But if we lift one finger at a time, just ease into the release, we can let go of the yearning, and the disappointment. One step at at time, we can go on.

We all have things we want in our lives – good things, things we feel we deserve, things that would be beneficial for us. But sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the timing is wrong. Sometimes what we think is best for us isn’t where life takes us. It’s hard to let go of the desire for something we’ve wanted so badly. We have to accept the disappointment gradually – let the dream go, one finger at a time.

Today if you realize that something you’ve wanted for so long isn’t going to happen, if you are stung with the understanding that it’s just not going to work, it’s okay. It just means the path is a little different than you thought it would be. Good things will still come to you – they’ll just be a a little different than you thought they would be. Life is all about adapting, accepting change, and learning to adjust. Start again. This is just a step. The road is long. There will be more dreams, and many of them will come true.

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