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Now What

30 Jan

As we’re moving through our lives, focusing on our goals, enjoying our associations with others, and working toward our destinations, sometimes things go exactly the way we plan. Events roll forward in predictable ways and the road ahead is open and unobstructed. When we’re moving forward and things are going well we feel confident and sure of success, and it’s only a matter of time before we achieve the goal we’re seeking. And then out of nowhere, sometimes everything changes. We’re steaming along and suddenly the bottom falls out of our plans. It’s like running headlong into an invisible wall. We may be stunned and rattled, speechless and unable to move. Sudden changes turn our course immediately, often without warning, and we may stand stupefied for a moment and wonder, now what? If everything we depended on disappears, and everyone who was with us turns away, we may be left standing, bereft and confused. Change is part of life and sometimes the changes we experience are extreme and unexpected. When they happen, it may be so dramatic and all encompassing that we may have no idea how to proceed. If we stop and stand still, and take some time to wrap our heads around all the changes and understand where we are now, we will find the courage we need to continue. The road we were on may be gone but there are countless others we can take and we can start again. We can regain our footing, refocus on what we want to do, and step forward.

When our lives are routine and things are happening the way we expect them to, we feel comfortable and sure. We know how our days will go, and everything is familiar. It’s good to feel relaxed and we may become complacent thinking we’ve got everything under control and all is well. If things suddenly change our first instinct may be to deny what has happened. We may believe if we don’t acknowledge the situation it won’t impact us. Looking away from an issue will not remove it, and ignoring problems will not solve them. Although we may desperately want things to stay the same, change will come, and we can do what is needed to continue forward.

When our lives suddenly change in ways we don’t want and didn’t expect, we may try to force them back to the way they were. We may attempt to restore what was, but there is no way to go back in time and no way to change what has happened. Life marches forward and will not retreat. We can step back, take time to process our new reality and then decide how we want to continue. All our dreams can come true but sometimes we must take the long way around to get to them. If things go wrong, we can find another way. If the bottom falls out, we can rebuild it. Everything is possible and nothing is strong enough to keep us from our goals. We can keep moving forward through any complication and find success.

Today if all your plans have suddenly gone up in smoke and you feel lost and confused, take a moment to understand where you are. Look around and decide how you want to proceed. The goal is still there for you and you can still reach it. Decide on the way forward and start again. The road is there and success is only steps away.

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Playing Chicken

23 Jan

Everyone is different, and goals and dreams vary from person to person.  What’s important to one is useless to another, what is desired by one is cast off by another, and so on.  While we may often be successful in managing those differences there will likely be times when we clash with someone else and conflict arise.  If neither side is willing to bend we may decide to play chicken and push our way forward, daring the other person to blink.  It’s good to know what we want and how to get it, but in times of conflict, pushing forward in direct opposition to someone else may not always be our best option.  Determining not to bend may escalate the conflict and before we know it the situation may spiral out of control to a place nobody wanted to go.  Being open to other opinions and listening intently to other viewpoints will help us understand opposing views more clearly.  Once we see things from both sides we may more easily find a compromise that is acceptable to everyone that allows us to move forward.  There is no one right way to do anything.  There are always several options in any scenario and if we’re open to seeing them, the way forward will be easier to find.  Playing chicken will never open the door to increased understanding or acceptance.  It will only prove we know what we want and don’t care about other ideas.  We are capable of being open and willing to hear all viewpoints.  Once everyone knows the whole story from all perspectives, finding an acceptable way forward will be possible.

It’s good to be confident about our lives and decisions, but if we allow our confidence to become superior to those around us it may turn into arrogance.  The difference between solid confidence and arrogance is the conviction that not only can we accomplish what we want to do, our ideas are better than anyone else’s.  Arrogance closes doors before us and other options available.  We can be open to new ideas and outcomes and still be confident in our ability to succeed.  New ideas will bring us fresh perspective and help us find success more easily.

We can always live our lives any way we choose.  We don’t need permission to decide what we want.  If there is dissent, we can be patient and listen to opposing views, and then make whatever decision works best for us.  There need not be tension and stress because we disagree.  We can be gracious and kind, thank others for their input and then choose the best option going forward.  Disagreement need not always turn into a fight.  We can be open and polite, and then make our decisions.

Today if there’s something you really want to do and someone is standing in your way, give them time to express their opinion and listen carefully.  Discuss your views and then decide the best way forward.  There is more than one way to do anything.  The best options are there for you.  Be open and wise.  You will find the best way forward.

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Being the Turtle

22 Jan

When we decide to accomplish a goal, we may look at all the options before us and make a plan to begin. We can carefully look at where we want to go and decide how to get there. Once we begin working our plans sometimes the path takes longer than we planned on. It’s hard to wait for something we really want, and we may become impatient with continual delays and complications that keep us from moving forward. If it’s been a long time and we’re tired, we may decide it’s too much and abandon the idea altogether. But if we abandon a goal we cannot accomplish it. It won’t just happen because we want it, or simply appear because we’ve put energy into it. We can always change our plans and move on to different things but if the goal is something we really want, walking away from it out of frustration will not bring satisfaction. We don’t know what we don’t know and some things will take longer than we like, or be more difficult than we thought when we started. If the price turns out to be too high, we can let it go, but every goal is reachable if we’re willing to do what it takes to get there. Things won’t always go the way we want them to but we have all the wisdom and patience we need to continue forward if we desire the destination ahead. If we have to go slow, we can go slow. If we have to wait for a time, we can wait. The goal will always be there and it doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach it. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We can understand the road before us, weigh all the options, and make the best choice going forward.

There is no need for patience if we experience immediate gratification. If everything comes to us the moment we desire it we learn to expect life to work around our needs and may begin to feel entitled. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t revolve around any one person. Everyone has unique personal needs and desires. Nobody gets to go to the head of the line or get an extra measure of attention just because they want it. No matter what we want to do, we can decide how to get there and then work through anything that stands in the way. We are strong enough and smart enough to figure out any complication and find success. We can be patient when we must and still move ahead.

If we’ve been working on something for a long time and our progress forward has been slow we may decide to reevaluate our plans. Timing is important and if what we want to accomplish isn’t working out now, we can set it aside for a time and try again later. Our lives are always changing and sometimes the thing that held us up in the past works for us in the future. We can review our choices and decide how to proceed. We can continue to move forward slowly or we can try again later. Whatever we decide we will find success if we truly desire it.

Today if you’re frustrated with the complications and problems involved in a goal you’ve been trying to reach, step back and review the situation clearly. Decide if you want to continue or set it aside for now. Choose the best way forward. Success is there and you will find it.

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Never Happened

16 Jan

Life has a lot of ups and downs and nobody gets a free pass from problems. Things go wrong and we may have to change what we’re doing, where we’re going, or how we’re moving forward. There are unlimited possibilities for complications and detours, and rarely will the road ahead be without some sort of compromise. When there is something very important to us or someone we really want in our lives and the situation changes in unexpected, sometimes disastrous ways, it can be difficult to accept. If the thought of letting go of a dream is too devastating to face, we may decide to ignore what has happened and pretend everything is fine. Denial only makes acceptance impossible and when we refuse to accept what is real we are living in a dream state. It is better to understand whatever reality we are living, even if we must adjust our plans, and find our way through. There isn’t anything too difficult for us to manage, and we can face any disappointment and continue forward. Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes we are going to lose and when that happens, despite the disappointment and sorrow, we can find our way. There will always be another step we can take, and there will always be another road to travel. We can accept whatever comes and still find success. We have everything we need to be happy. Nothing is powerful enough to hold us back.

Love is a powerful emotion. When we love someone, we want to be near them and share our lives with them. If they feel the same about us we may find great joy in our interactions with them. But it’s possible to fall in love with someone who doesn’t return our affections. It can be heartbreaking to realize our fondest dreams of them will not be realized. If we must walk away from a relationship we want badly it may be hard to find our footing. But there is always another road ready for us. We can accept what is real, face the situation openly, and find success going forward.

When our lives take a difficult unexpected turn and it’s hard to face the changes before us, the temptation to stay in place may be strong. We may convince ourselves that if we stay where we are things will change, and despite what has happened, everything will work out the way we want it to. We can only control our own choices and waiting for happiness to come to us is futile. Our happiness is our responsibility. We can modify our way forward to accommodate whatever changes have occurred and find our way to the destinations we desire. Our lives belong to us and we can be happy no matter what developments we must face.

Today if your road has suddenly turned and what you were hoping to achieve is no longer available, look at all your options and choose the best way forward. Happiness is there for you and you can modify your course to reach it. Accept whatever changes you must and continue forward. You already have everything you need to succeed. Keep your eyes focused ahead and you will reach the destination you desire.

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Moving On Again

6 Dec

We have countless experiences as we go through our lives.  Sometimes things go well and we feel happy and content, and sometimes there is trouble.  We may have an experience that devastates us, is hard to understand, and makes going forward difficult.  Perhaps someone we love unexpectedly dies, we lose something important, or a relationship we value suddenly breaks apart.  When we go through something very difficult that is far reaching and touches us deeply it can be hard to find our footing again.  We may feel lost, untethered and drifting, unable to find an anchor.  Trying to touch down again and figure out what to do next may be confusing and seem too complicated.  We may face a jumble of thoughts rolling through our mind making it hard to connect to anything that might work.  When we begin a jigsaw puzzle and dump the entire collection of pieces out of the box, there is a lot to look at and sort through.  But as we pick up each piece and examine it and begin to put one with another, after a time we find our way to the solution and picture is whole.  As we try to navigate a complicated and painful time in our lives we can begin by looking at just one thing we can control and use that to help us connect to the next piece, and the next, until we find our way through.  We can manage anything that comes to us, even very difficult and complex issues.  Taking them step by step and giving ourselves time to process each development will help us move forward.  Life is long and there is time to work everything out.  We are strong enough and wise enough to find our way through.  Each step takes us closer to the light we seek and if we continue nothing will keep us from success.

Getting over a heartbreaking experience isn’t easy.  As we make headway and begin to feel stronger we may hear or see something that reminds of what we’ve lost and the walls begin to crash in again.  Healing takes time and isn’t a straight line forward.  We will have setbacks and pauses in our journey.  If we fall into despair we can stop for a moment to regain our footing.  Every sorrow will be overcome and we will find happiness again.  We can trust in our personal strength and remember how far we’ve come.  Nothing is too hard for us to manage and no matter what has happened we will find our way through.

Learning to trust again after a serious disappointment may not come easily.  If we’ve been extremely hurt we may need to step back for a while to regroup and determine how we want to proceed.  There is no rush to heal and there is plenty of time to find all the answers we need.  We can rest until we feel ready to begin again.  We will find the road forward.  We know who we are and what we want, and nothing can keep us from reaching any destination we desire.

Today if you’ve been hurt and feel lost and unsure about the way forward, take a step back and let your mind rest.  All the answer you seek are there for you.  Every door will open as you move forward.  Trust in your strength and rely on your wisdom.  You can do anything.  There is light for you just ahead.  Keep moving forward and reach it.

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