Changing Them

12 Apr

We meet all kinds of people as we go through our lives. With some we build strong relationships and connections, others are co-workers and acquaintances, and there are some we just wave to in passing. There may be a time when we meet someone and are instantly captivated by them. Maybe it’s the way they look, or there is undeniable chemistry between us. Infatuation can be intense and if we’re under the spell, we may lose all sense of restraint and normalcy. There may be an extreme desire to abandon all caution and do anything to get closer. But first impressions can never tell us everything, and as we interact and spend time together, issues may arise that under normal circumstances may send us packing. If we’re entranced, we may think they don’t matter, we can do what is needed to change the other person so it won’t be an issue. We may believe that by spending more time with them, even marrying them, they will change and the problems will go away. Thinking we can change anyone else for any reason is a recipe for disaster. We’re all entitled to live our lives any way we choose, and the odds that we’ll be able to alter someone’s personality in ways that work better for us are slim to none. We are who we are, and although change is always possible, it must come from inside us and the desire to change must be great. No relationship is perfect, but if we’re willing to accept others for who they are instead of trying to change them, we have the best chance of success. We all have a lot to offer, but our gifts are different and varied. Looking at everything objectively and realistically will help us decide how best to proceed. We deserve complete happiness, and by being open and seeing things clearly, we will achieve it.

Love means different things to different people. To some it means we will do everything for them and change our lives to fit their model. They may tell us that if we love them, we’ll do as they ask. We’ll change the way we look, or how we act, or what we like, or a million other details. Loving someone doesn’t mean we give up who we are. We are unique and valuable and have individual gifts to offer nobody else can give. We never have to acquiesce to ideas we don’t want or that take us from who we really are. If the relationship requires more than we want to give, we can step away and move in a new direction.

Rushing into a relationship rarely leads to long term satisfaction. Getting to know someone takes time. Learning how we relate to one another and what works takes focus and effort. Running fast into the wind will definitely take us somewhere, but if we can’t clearly see where we’re headed, we probably won’t end up where we wanted to go. We can have rich, fulfilling relationships if we take things one step at a time. Our lives are important, and we deserve every good gift. Being thoughtful and wise, we will find great success.

Today if you’ve been captivated by someone and can’t get them out of your mind, stand still and think about how you want to proceed. Take the time you need to really know them, and then choose your next steps forward. You are amazing and have so much to offer. Everything you desire is possible, and with wisdom and patience, they will be yours.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: