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That Flower Thing

28 Aug

In Greek mythology the story is told of Narcissus.  There are a few different versions, but the basic idea is that Narcissus’s mother was told he would live to an old age if he didn’t look upon himself.  Sadly, he fell in love with his own reflection, and died.  The Narcissus flower grew up on the spot where he died.  Narcissistic behavior gets its name from this story.  If basically refers to people who only see themselves, who only do things that benefit themselves, and believe they are the most important person.  If we have someone in our lives who carries these types of traits, it can be difficult to deal with them.  And because they only recognize their own needs, it’s hard to have a relationship with them.

To build healthy and beneficial relationships, we have to be willing to give and take.  We need to compromise, and carry half the responsibility of making things work.  If we have a relationship with someone who is only interested in serving themselves, it’s nearly impossible to move forward, and build anything that will last.  If we only see what’s in it for us, we will fail.  Relationships are complex, and if we want to make them strong and happy we have to do our part.  That means we have to be willing to give to the other person, and not just take what works for us.  Because the relationship is important, we have to accept that sometimes we will not get things our way.

Probably all of us have known narcissistic types of people.  They tend to be the ones who have to be first, who have to do things their way, who have to be comfortable, and who need a lot of attention.  It’s exhausting to be around them for long, and if we try to build a relationship with them the path is often filled with complications.  If we have these tendencies ourselves, we may expect too much from others.  We may be frustrated that others don’t see things exactly as we do.  But if we want to be successful in our relationships, and if we want to be happy we have to learn to give, and let go of our need for things to go exactly our way.  We have to be willing to concede from time to time.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who only sees themselves, try to be patient and explain what you need from them.  Set the example by extending yourself and including them.  If you are struggling with the need for things to go exactly your way, try to remember that others have great ideas, and working together is very rewarding.  We all have a lot to offer, and we all need to be heard.  Today offer your viewpoint and then listen to others.  Give and take.  That’s what it’s all about.

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