When we are children, we do what our parents want us to do. They teach us, and guide us as best they can. When we’re older and we’re off to college or jobs, we do what our professors or bosses want us to do. We do our assignments to get the grades we want, or we follow the company rules so we can fit in and keep our jobs. We learn that in order to succeed we need to become compliant, and cooperative, and we do what we’re told. As we mature we begin to understand that although we comply to certain things, we are the ones who really control our lives. Our parents do their part, our professors and bosses do their parts, but in the end our decisions are ultimately ours to make.
There will always be people with opinions about how we should live our lives. They will often give us advice even if we don’t ask for it. And their opinions are important – to them. But they need not be the guiding force for us. We are the only ones actually living our lives, so it follows that we should be the only ones making decisions about them. Sure, we can ask for and take good advice when we want to. Sure we can listen when others tell us what they think. But in the end, we own the decisions we make. And the irony is, we own our decisions even if we don’t do what we want to, but choose to do what others tell us to do. It’s still on us.
It is neither appropriate nor truthful to tell someone they made us do something, unless of course, a gun was involved. Since that doesn’t usually happen, if we choose to do what someone else has decided for us, it’s our decision. If we choose not to do what they suggest, it’s our decision. And so, there is no way to excuse a bad decision by blaming others. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and sometimes we can make bad decisions because we weren’t given all the facts, or someone lied. But in most cases, when we make bad decisions, we have to own them. And the good news is when we make good decisions, we own them too.
If we choose what’s right for us, we will find happiness. If we choose what’s wrong for us, we may find despair. Either way, we get to pick. The most important thing when making a decision is to decide what we really want. What do we want to do? Not what do we think we should do, or what would be easiest to do, but what do we want to do? That sounds simple but it’s surprising how difficult it can be sometimes. If we want to make good decisions, we must determine what it is we want first.
Today if you’re struggling with a decision, first decide what you want most. What do you want from this decision? How do you want things to look on the other side? Once you determine that, it will be easier to understand. Keep it simple. Look at it objectively. Be bold. Make a decision and go forward. You probably already know what you want to do. Now go do it.
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