I have been watching a TV show where chefs compete to see who can make dishes out of unusual ingredients. There is a stopwatch involved and it seems very stressful. Every time I watch this show, when asked why they want to win, one of the chefs will say “It will validate what I’m doing,” or “It will validate that I am where I should be,” or something along this line. This has been perplexing for me. I wonder why they need to be validated? By their own admission, they are doing something they love to do. They are good at their jobs or certainly would never have been invited to compete in the show. So, why the need for outside validation?
This has made me wonder about us as people. If we are happy doing things we love, is it necessary that others validate that we are doing things right? Is it necessary that we get acceptance and approval? Nobody likes criticism, of course, but do we need everyone to be happy about our decisions? I don’t think we do. If we are living our lives the way we want to, and we aren’t hurting anyone else, I don’t think we have to have the approval of anyone else. We are living OUR lives, not their lives, and making OUR decisions, not theirs.
So I was thinking about my life. Are there times when I need to be validated in a decision I’ve made? Do I feel like I have to have approval to continue doing the things I want to do? I am very independent and for me the approval of others isn’t very important. I’m not hurting anyone, I’m just making decisions about my own life. That’s enough for me. I know friends who go to functions they don’t want to attend because someone said they should, who wear clothes they don’t like because someone didn’t like the way they were dressing, and who changed different aspects of their lifestyle because it didn’t agree with someone else’s idea of how their lives should look. I don’t want that. None of us should want that.
Our lives are gifts to US. Nobody else. We should be brave and courageous enough to live them the way we want to. We should dress the way we want to, eat the way we want to, go to the places we like, and stand up for ourselves. After all, the opinion of others is just that – opinion. And opinion is just someone else’s idea of something. Our ideas are just as important as theirs. So be strong. Get out there and live your life your way. You’ll be happier. This life goes by so fast. Let’s be as happy as we can!
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